What is your back up plan if your business doesn't work?

My mom and me in Alaska last summer

I’m someone who sets goals for myself, attaches my identity to reaching said goals, and then uses not reaching those goals as fodder for self criticism. Follow me for more self help advice.

Building my own company has been one of those goals for me for a while. I have viewed much of my career as a software developer as being preparation for starting my own company. Over time I added layers to that goal: building a company is what will give me the flexibility to live the life I want, show up for those I care about, and be a great dad.

The abruptness of losing my job last year is yet another layer. While I’m grateful now for the doors losing my job has opened, I’m still scared when I think about getting another corporate 9-5. I feel unsafe when I think about putting my wellbeing into someone else’s hands again.

So now I’ve tied being a supportive person, a great dad, and my safety to building a successful company. That’s a lot of pressure. No wonder I’ve lost some of the fun and joy in building.

So going back to the question. All of this can make it difficult to entertain a back up plan, but that doesn’t help me. I read Build the Life You Want by Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah last year. Here are two passages that stick with me:

…happiness is not a destination. Happiness is a direction. We won’t find complete happiness on this side of heaven, but no matter where each of us is in life, we can all be happier. And then happier, and then happier still.

and

We can also stop believing that our individual problems are the reasons we haven’t achieved happiness. No positive circumstance can give us the state of bliss we seek. But no negative circumstance can make getting happier impossible, either. Here is a fact: You can get happier, even if you have problems. You can even get happier in some cases because you have problems.

I interpret this as I have everything I need, right now, to be happier and live a good life. That means I have many paths to a happy, peaceful, and meaningful life even if my business fails. It is up to me to cultivate it.

Through that lens, failure doesn’t seem as scary and back up plans are easier to consider. I could live a happy life and be a great partner and dad with a corporate 9-5. I could find contract development work. I will find a way to make it work, and I will be okay.

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