It's wonderful to read your notes again. Hope Thailand is treating you well.
On Grief - my dad passed away a couple of years ago and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't anticipate how I would feel when his first death anniversary rolled around (it sucked). The second one is coming up soon and I'm dreading that too, but all this is to say (to you and to me): hang in there, and it will eventually pass.
On Swimming - it's wonderful to hear someone discovering the joys of swimming. I've been swimming since before I could walk, and it's the most invigorating thing I do besides prayer. I can quietly slip away underwater and the whole world disappears - the only thing that remains is breath. Ironically, it makes me feel more connected to the world and my place in it. Waterlog by the late and great Roger Deakin and The Swimmer by John Cheever are excellent reads (but tone-wise very different) if you're interested.
In the pool (and in life): just keep swimming. We're rooting for you. 🐬
Hi Manasi :) Thanks for sharing. I decided to see friends on the 1 year anniversary. I don't know how I will feel, but I think it will be nice to be around friends regardless.
That's a nice way to think about swimming. It's much calmer than how I think of it right now hahaha. Thanks for the recs and for reading
I think being around friends is a great idea - I remember being alone, but some of my girlfriends called me that day and I spent a couple of hours on the phone that day. It helped a lot.
As for the swimming, it'll start feeling phenomenal soon, so that's something to look forward to. 🌊 Enjoy your time in Thailand!
P.S. If you're interested in visual art (which I think you are, given that your dad was a photographer), you might enjoy David Hockey's and Stephan Zirwes' poolscapes. I always find the blues soothing. Martine Franck also has some great work in that area.
On grief, one of the best choices I made was to intentionally not remember the date my father or mother passed away. I know the month. This has spared me from dreading a specific day. When I miss them I work through it in that moment, but I don’t ride the emotional roller coaster around a certain day. It’s been so helpful.
It's great to hear from you again and to see you are venturing on to new things! I will pray a rosary for your father on the 27th. It's a special day for me too and it would be a pleasure keeping him and you in my thoughts on that day. Wishing you all the best.
So good to see you and to hear your distinctive voice! So much to reply to, but I’m just going to choose one: politics and political engagement. The short version is we live in a democracy, or at least we used to. How we got to this place where our democracy itself is so damaged that it’s possible, and arguably appropriate, to think of it in the past tense, is a long story. For now, let just say that living in a democracy has responsibilities. To be a citizen in a democracy requires staying informed and participating. If everyone took those responsibilities seriously it wouldn’t be appropriate to refer yo our democracy in the past tense. If you Grant, or anyone on your Substack would like some ideas how to get educated about our political process or how to get engaged with the process, please reach out.
Hi Paul, nice to hear from you. The participation (beyond voting, donating, etc) is the piece that is missing for me. It makes me think about community and the cost of being on the road often :) I'd love to chat more.
I’ve been following you on instagram since you moved in with your grandma and just started following you here on substack. As always, I appreciate your thoughtful introspection, vulnerability and honesty. Thanks for sharing. As an empty nester and approaching the end of my career, I’m spending a lot of time looking back, trying to understand my life, rebalancing and planning for the future. I’ve devoted so much of my life to family and to work and I have struggled with spending time on myself. I’m trying to be intentional in giving myself some priority but it’s not easy. Engaging with my hobbies and trying new things without feeling guilty is hard but has also been rewarding. It seems like you are dealing with the same, but you are discovering the importance of this much earlier in your life and that’s great. Thanks again Grant for sharing and for inspiring us.
It's wonderful to read your notes again. Hope Thailand is treating you well.
On Grief - my dad passed away a couple of years ago and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't anticipate how I would feel when his first death anniversary rolled around (it sucked). The second one is coming up soon and I'm dreading that too, but all this is to say (to you and to me): hang in there, and it will eventually pass.
On Swimming - it's wonderful to hear someone discovering the joys of swimming. I've been swimming since before I could walk, and it's the most invigorating thing I do besides prayer. I can quietly slip away underwater and the whole world disappears - the only thing that remains is breath. Ironically, it makes me feel more connected to the world and my place in it. Waterlog by the late and great Roger Deakin and The Swimmer by John Cheever are excellent reads (but tone-wise very different) if you're interested.
In the pool (and in life): just keep swimming. We're rooting for you. 🐬
Hi Manasi :) Thanks for sharing. I decided to see friends on the 1 year anniversary. I don't know how I will feel, but I think it will be nice to be around friends regardless.
That's a nice way to think about swimming. It's much calmer than how I think of it right now hahaha. Thanks for the recs and for reading
I think being around friends is a great idea - I remember being alone, but some of my girlfriends called me that day and I spent a couple of hours on the phone that day. It helped a lot.
As for the swimming, it'll start feeling phenomenal soon, so that's something to look forward to. 🌊 Enjoy your time in Thailand!
P.S. If you're interested in visual art (which I think you are, given that your dad was a photographer), you might enjoy David Hockey's and Stephan Zirwes' poolscapes. I always find the blues soothing. Martine Franck also has some great work in that area.
On grief, one of the best choices I made was to intentionally not remember the date my father or mother passed away. I know the month. This has spared me from dreading a specific day. When I miss them I work through it in that moment, but I don’t ride the emotional roller coaster around a certain day. It’s been so helpful.
That's a great idea. You'd have to make that decision early! That's some good foresight. I don't think I could forget it at this point.
It's great to hear from you again and to see you are venturing on to new things! I will pray a rosary for your father on the 27th. It's a special day for me too and it would be a pleasure keeping him and you in my thoughts on that day. Wishing you all the best.
Thank you :) That would be great
So good to see you and to hear your distinctive voice! So much to reply to, but I’m just going to choose one: politics and political engagement. The short version is we live in a democracy, or at least we used to. How we got to this place where our democracy itself is so damaged that it’s possible, and arguably appropriate, to think of it in the past tense, is a long story. For now, let just say that living in a democracy has responsibilities. To be a citizen in a democracy requires staying informed and participating. If everyone took those responsibilities seriously it wouldn’t be appropriate to refer yo our democracy in the past tense. If you Grant, or anyone on your Substack would like some ideas how to get educated about our political process or how to get engaged with the process, please reach out.
Hi Paul, nice to hear from you. The participation (beyond voting, donating, etc) is the piece that is missing for me. It makes me think about community and the cost of being on the road often :) I'd love to chat more.
Lisa and I miss Jim. He was a remarkable man. We loved him.
I’ve been following you on instagram since you moved in with your grandma and just started following you here on substack. As always, I appreciate your thoughtful introspection, vulnerability and honesty. Thanks for sharing. As an empty nester and approaching the end of my career, I’m spending a lot of time looking back, trying to understand my life, rebalancing and planning for the future. I’ve devoted so much of my life to family and to work and I have struggled with spending time on myself. I’m trying to be intentional in giving myself some priority but it’s not easy. Engaging with my hobbies and trying new things without feeling guilty is hard but has also been rewarding. It seems like you are dealing with the same, but you are discovering the importance of this much earlier in your life and that’s great. Thanks again Grant for sharing and for inspiring us.