there is no perfect year

how I'm planning for 2025

After splitting wood at a friend’s cabin last weekend

This is the very first paid subscriber post! Thank you for supporting me. I’m going to be experimenting with different topics and formats. I just finished up reflecting on the past year and planning for the next. This is a deep dive into that process. I hope you enjoy it.

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The end of year reflecting and planning is stressful for me. Perfectionism leads to wanting control. I feel a need to put a tidy bow on the year. I feel a need to have the perfect plan. In the past I set specific goals. I remember a time in my early 20s when friends and I quizzed each other on our new year goals, their metrics, and timelines. I don’t think I hit a single one.

I think of this as as a “top down” approach to life. I conjure up an “ideal” version of myself and then work backwards to set goals. When I was in a relationship this could look like: I will be enough if I’m a good boyfriend, and if I plan more dates then I will be a good boyfriend. All I need is to do plan more dates and I will be enough. This approach has rarely worked in my life.